Being in recruitment and having an active social life, I hear on a daily basis how the actions of others could have been better and acquired a more positive outcome.
Friends, colleagues, clients, and candidates are at times surprised when things don’t go their way. Having observed their actions, as well as being my own biggest critic, I have noticed the failure to secure a win / win is often down to people skills and interaction.
It reminded me of a book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which I have been compelled to read again and again. The first time I heard about this book, I was skeptical. The title seemed self-centered and pompous, but in reality, it’s nothing like that. This book; teaches us all how to be better people. How to be nice to people and how to work with them.
I think it is useful for us all to remember some crucial, but very basic points that Mr Carnegie covers in his book.
Do not criticise. “Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a man’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment.” – Dale Carnegies.
- Give honest, sincere appreciation. “Dr. Dewey says the deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’”.
- Get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle. The thing here is to give to your interlocutor what he wants, and not what you want.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember names. “Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in the English language.
- Be a good listener. “Encourage others to talk about themselves”.
- Make the other person feel important. “And do it sincerely”
Hopefully, with a little refresher we can all achieve more win / wins and make the world a little bit better.
